THE BRICK WALL I wanted to tell him how much I care about him...that I would miss him when he was gone. I wanted to tell him that I can feel the vibes he is sending my way and I’m digging it all...but my fear would not allow me...I'm way too cool for 'feelings'. Instead of expressing the way I felt and enjoying our last day together I was overcome with sadness...sadness because I didn’t want him to leave and sadness because I don’t know how to tell him how I feel about him without losing "control". “The one that remains in control wins...”right? “The person who shows the least emotion controls the relationship” right? That’s what I was told and it seems as though every time I don’t follow that formula I get hurt so I decided to stay in the ‘safe zone’ aka ‘the friend zone’....the area that is less threatening and can cause me the least pain...or does it??
This strategy may have caused me more harm than good. My nonchalant demeanor has kept me from a meaningful relationship...my cautiousness, my reluctance to open up, to show men my ‘submissive’ side feels like I have been running into a brick wall over and over again. I act so androgynous...like ‘one of the guys’....but I fear I have lost, and will continue to lose potentially good men. This time I am determined not to let my fear get the best of me...as “Previous Cats” by Musiq SoulChild plays in the back of my mind I realize I’ve hit my head against the wall so much I think it’s time for a break through...I will start by telling him that I miss him and take it from there...
posted by THEDawnDickson at 11:57 PM
1 Comments:
Whats up D...
Yes, the capricorns are most def too cool for school...there are only a certa
Look, as a woman who is more on the masculine cool calm collective side of things, let me be the first to tell you the original formula u spoke of WORKS!! yes it does tend for many lonely nights but it also prevents a lot of hurtful (and lonely) nights too~
Do not stray to far from this mindset as men half the time do not know what they want anyway and its the kewler more in control calm collect women who get the most respect from the average typical man.
DONT GIVE IT UP FOR THE SAKE OF LOVE...because you will more than likely only be disappointed in the end. When we give it up (and its a big thing to give up) for the name of love, love doesnt ever seem STRONG enough to make up for the horrible emotions we soon face there after we have surrendered our inner vulnerable feelings....so dont surrender your cool in control demeanor so soon - were too old for that.....what i do is simply "Taylor" my demeanor and attitude toward the man im interested in. (according to his sun sign)
First of all, its hard to get our attention anyway....and so we get excited by the thought of a man who can capture our attention for any amount of time (is that true for you too?)...then we get gushy and almost loose our (inner) minds. Well, i have learned more often than not that as long as i was in control and collected throughout the time, the eventual breakup is one i can handle because he never saw me sweat - Its when they seen us sweat and cry for they ass that we get so emotionally upset with them AFTER the breakup....the ones who didnt get/see all of us, we tend to handle those breakups so much better...ever notice that?
You can talk to him and even befriend him because he never knew how insane you really were for him.....I always find that agood thing.
D, your a Capricorn, you may always have issues with control, timing and planning everything out first...the man that best suits you is one that will highly APPRECIATE THIS ATTRIBUTE AND UNDERSTANDS YOUR COLLECTIVE RESERVED DEMEANOR....when you see you have found him, you simply customize according to his star chart with how you will handle him...every sign you must handle differently as every sign will love and appreciate you completely different than the other.
When you feel good about a guy, give him meaningful heartfelt moments of affection...he will enjoy those moments when they come - if we give it to them too much and his sign doesnt let him appreciate it to the fullest, guess what, you just lost brownie points and your now looked at as a lil weaker (possibly, again, it depends on his sign) - Stay true to you D, as a Alpha female, you will only be able to handle being Alpha, when you play the other role, it will be upsetting in the long run - always keep control cause thats all you were born to do...
shoot, at the end of the day, you can take "control" to the bank - you cant take LOVE ~
Tell him you love him, express your feelings and show your not SCARED to express them...be in control and be ultra passionate when you do it just limit how often you do it. And always be lovey dovey and super freaky right before he leaves, men are visual creatures who only remember the last thing about you, if you were cold, thats what he will remember...if you were giving him head...well, you get the picture ;)
Remember to have more fun and do give spontaneous loving moments (freaky ones...yes get more freaky Dawn, he'll forgive your reservedness if he knows you got that freak up in you) - Dont be afraid to let down your hair and enjoy the moment chiq - ok?
if your led to say I love you or something gushy - say it!
Your best winning bets for love are "Taurus" "Virgo" "Scorpio" and "Pisces"....All love your passion, loyalty and fierce drive to be a winner....stay far away from Aries, Cancer and Libra...cant handle you at all ~
Good luck mama!
stef.d
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