Monday, December 27, 2010

I CHOOSE YOU

Today broke my #1 dating rule....

I would call myself a ‘go getter’...especially in my career. I pride myself in having the ability to walk up to a complete stranger who I want to network with, introduce myself and turn that connection into a meaningful relationship. My ‘elevator speech’ is pretty impressive, not to mention I am charming, witty and confident. Professional peers have called me abrasive, dominating, cold...I am a dog in the “boardroom” I will attack and devour. I get what I want. There is no place for emotions or hesitation when it comes to business. Its survival of the fittest and I’m completing triathlons. If only I could carry that confidence over into my personal life when it comes to men.

Believe it or not....I AM SHY. I have never had the courage to approach a man or make an advance at a man I thought was attractive. I’m so picky, I rarely see anyone I am attracted to and when I do I don’t say anything, I will just let them pass me. My friends often tease me because I’m old fashioned. I believe a man should choose. If I learned nothing else from my experience with men I learned this.... they go for what they want...and they will go HARD. I never made the first move because I don’t want to appear desperate or easy. My logic is “If I see him then he must see me and if he doesn’t express interest then he must not be interested.”

Today that “logic” I’ve been carrying around for 31 years went out the door. It started with a picture on Facebook. YES FACEBOOK. He was tagged on a photo with one of my friends. I clicked on his name and started to scroll down his wall but I didn’t want to be a stalker so I closed the page and resumed reading my book. No matter how hard I tried to occupy my mind I could not stop wondering about him. I was curious so I logged back on and started looking through his pictures. He intrigued me. I liked how he held his body, I liked his smile and how he was interacting with his friends on the photos. Stalker shit, I know. Then I looked at his information to check his relationship status...he didn’t have one. This could mean one of two things: 1) He is in a relationship and doesn’t want to put it on the table or 2) he is single but doesn’t want to attract too much attention. I had to find out so I decided to send him a message.

As much as I complain about how annoyed I get when men send me “eHarmony-type” messages I was about to commit the #1 Facebook sin...sending a complete stranger a non business related message with the intention of ‘hollering’. So many questions ran though my mind....what should I say?? What if he doesn’t respond? What if he thinks I’m a stalker? Men always approach me so I didn’t have any pickup lines or witty word play. I realized I was totally over thinking the situation so I sent him a message titled “Marry Me” I figured if that doesn’t scare him off then he has a sense of humor and he doesn’t take things too seriously. I don’t know how it will turn out...I hope to at least get to know him a little. All I know is I chose him and when a woman chooses she chooses.

2 Comments:

Blogger Naturally Poetic...Again said...

Ha! That is awesome-lol! I, hilariously enough, have no issue approaching a man that I find intriguing(hence the one that I have now-lol) and it does surprise me that you cant considering how much you have going for you-I can dig it though...please follow up and let us know what happened-I'll be tuned in!

11:36 PM  
Blogger Angelus Complex said...

lol, the conclusion to this, I just have to see.

1:15 PM  

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